Saturday, July 4, 2015

A Hollywood Set Designer's Experience

The following comes from our California source. As with our other interviews and tell alls, the identity of the subject will remain anonymous. The person whose story you are about to read worked as a set designer and builder for various Hollywood studios before being terminated for asking too many questions. He was kind enough to write this short testimonial about his experiences and what he saw regarding the Illuminati. As a warning, we must let you know that it's laced with profanity and derogatory comments about conspiracy theorists. He insisted that we reproduce his piece as he'd written it or not at all. We managed to get him to relent on some incriminating details. Regardless of the delivery, our source gave us some valuable insight that makes this worthwhile. We apologize in advance for any offense you may take.

"For about 20-25 years I worked on movie sets. At first, I did mostly carpentry work for films. Some of it was pretty cool but most of it was mundane. Probably the most fun I had was building the sound stage portions of the H.M.S. Surprise for "Master and Commander". I really liked paying attention to the intricate historical details. Working on the romantic comedy sets was probably the worst, not that all of those movies sucked. Don't get me wrong, most of them did. Hell, most movies I worked on were awful. What I hated about those was that I felt like we were making sets based on crap the director or lead designer saw in a Pottery Barn catalog. There wasn't anything challenging or interesting about it.

So, I worked my way up from carpentry to set design and actually got to do something more rewarding, and I'll say this, mostly to piss off directors who might read this, creating an elaborate set based on what someone (usually a director) wrote on a bar napkin the night before can be a real bitch. Get this straight, Spielberg, 30 words you wrote following your 10th martini aren't enough to convey your "vision" to us. Okay, I didn't work for Spielberg either, but I know some guys who said he was like this.

Let me get to the stuff you're interested in. I got assigned to work on "censored for subject's security". I was pretty excited to work on this picture. I had been a fan of the franchise as a kid and thought it would be cool to lend my artistic talents to the latest rendition. I wasn't too happy when I got stuck working on some of the secondary sets rather than the main ones such as the "censored" and "censored". Not that I would take credit for what those guys designed anyhow. They were both shit. 

So, one of the things I had to design was this fancy chair, and I spent a lot of time on it, mostly because a legendary actor would be sitting in it. The damn thing had to be just right, and I made sure it was. Then me and a few of the builders put it together. We then brought it to the set and told one of the director's assistants that they could shoot whenever they wanted. Our work was done.

On the day of filming, I wanted to be there, actually it was more like had to be in case anything went wrong. So that morning, I get on set and take a place near the catering table. Free food was always one of the perks when working while shooting was going on. Okay, back to the point, sometime after scarfing my third cruller I noticed that the chair I had built wasn't on set. It had been replaced by this weird one made in the shape of a triangle. It didn't really go with the set. Needless to say, I was pissed and the next thing I knew was that I was wanting to speak to the director or whatever high honcho I could find to vent my frustration.  

And let me give this piece of advice to aspiring Hollywood workers, referring to a director's preferences as "fucking bullshit" while that director is within earshot is not a good idea. Yeah, I'll admit it, I haven't exactly been working for the big studios lately. Don't get me wrong, I've found work, but it's mostly with television studios and ad agencies. Some of which actually pay more, but I really liked seeing my work on the big screen. The feeling you got was like the one you'd get after doing a hot girl, I'm talking big tits and nice ass here. You dumbasses had better print that too.

When "censored" hit theaters, I made sure to see it, even though they switched out my chair for a damn triangle. I had still designed the rest of the set and wanted to see how it meshed with the CGI. When I saw the scene with my stuff and that chair, I didn't really think much of it at the time, but there was a bright orb that had been added by the CGI guys emanating from the top of the chair. It wasn't until I read some stuff about the Illuminati that I realized there were likely greater forces at play in the decision to replace my chair. It definitely resembled a pyramid with the Eye of Providence.

Now, I'm not saying the Illuminati are real nor that I have ever met someone who is actually a part of them. That's what you wackos who run this site say. I'm just saying that the whole chair thing got me thinking that there is some real deliberate stuff in movies, and I have known a couple of guys who throw it in there just to screw with conspiracy theory weirdos. But, there were never any dick moves like the one that got my chair replaced. At least that was what I thought until I asked few others. Apparently, it happened a lot, and with some directors more than others. You Illuminati believers won't be surprised to learn to Kubrick was the worst. Anyone who worked on the sets of "The Shining" and "2001: A Space Odyssey" could tell you how much assholery they had to deal with. Then again, I've heard James Cameron is a total dick too, so what do I know.

So that's my story, and I want to end it with one last thing, "Avatar" sucked!"

1 comment:

  1. Either this 'illuminati' is lazier than the guy who designed the Japanese flag, or this type of symbolism is just salad dressing, whereas the more telling messages are shall we say, somewhat more subtle, and more difficult to extract.