A Note from Bruce

Before I go into detail on this post, I just want to say thanks for taking the time to visit Illuminati Watchdog. Your time spent here is greatly appreciated. I wanted to write this post to let those know that have been frequenting this site that after eight years I have decided to call it quits on writing about all things Illuminati. In fact, this blog was never really intended to last this long, but as time passed and the articles increased, it continued. However, times have changed so much since I first started writing this. In January 2013, conspiracy theories were much more entertaining to explore with only fringe elements really embracing them. By 2016, that started to change as the fringe shifted, and conspiracies began to become more mainstream. Today, they have become ubiquitous as elected officials and even so-called journalists publicize them on social media without any thought about the consequences. In other words, what started as a fun pastime has turned into a potentially toxic activity. I can no longer in good faith continue to write these articles, no matter how outlandish, unbelievable, or humorous I can make them.

When I started Illuminati Watchdog, I did so as a kind of joke. All of the articles are satire aimed to poke fun of actual conspiracy theorists. As time passed and the comments accumulated, I realized that many who stumbled upon this website thought they were genuine. That was never my intention, but it never really seemed like a concern until after the 2016 election. By 2020, bogus theories surrounding the coronavirus, Q-Anon, and supposed voter fraud have done much to undermine public trust in many institutions essential to the preservation of American democracy. With too many individuals taking these seriously and knowing that people read what I have written and believe it's fully credible, it's time to throw in the towel.

With that said, I'd like to take a few moments to explain how I came up with so much Illuminati nonsense. It's fairly simple actually. All you need to do is begin watching movies and looking for triangles, eyes, and references to the sun. Add some imagination to it, and voila, instant conspiracy theories. Some of these were really fun to write, and I'll provide a list of my favorites in this post too. Please be sure to check them out. They may not be true, but they're entertaining. In regard to the others, some were just mediocre at best that I cranked out when I felt like I needed to add something. Believe it or not, some of those got the most page views. Go figure! Once I noticed the pattern, I realized the less thought I put into these the better.   

I will say some of my favorite memories of doing Illuminati Watchdog were seeing where my material got quoted. One morning, I LOL'd pretty hard when I saw parts of my McDonald's article reproduced in the UK's Telegraph. Another occasion was seeing several pieces posted on Fundies Say the Darndest Things with people commenting on how ludicrous the conspiracies were. One commenter even suggested I was schizophrenic. I guess they didn't see the satire either. My other favorite memory was probably trolling some of the people that came on the site trying to debunk my easily debunkable theories. Oh, how they had no idea about what they truly were posting about.

So without further ado, here's my list of favorite articles here on Illuminati Watchdog. If you haven't read them yet, take some time and enjoy.

1. The Empire Strikes Back and the War on Drugs: This must be my all time favorite. I was inspired to write this one when I was watching the movie and saw the ice planet Hoth and thought, "Hey, that looks like a giant ball of cocaine." Hell, given how much drug use occurred when filming movies back then, it probably wasn't far from the truth.

2. Illuminati Symbolism in Ghostbusters: Being one of my favorite movies, I gotta say that when Sigourney Weaver opened that fridge and there appeared a pyramid, this one wrote itself.

3. The Illuminati Wants to Put Donald Trump on Permanent Display: Being one of my last articles, this one came to mind as I was reading about Trump's bromance with Kim Jong Un. This is probably very unlikely to happen, but wouldn't it be hilarious if it did?

4. Warnings of JFK's Assassination in Gone with the Wind: I was really surprised that no one had come up with this one yet. A character named Kennedy gets shot in the head in a film made two decades before JFK's assassination and no one makes the connection? I guess most conspiracy theorists don't think there was any symbolism in movies before Stanley Kubrick.

5. 9/11 Warnings in Home Alone: I have to admit that the final editing in this film really does present some eerie coincidences, but that's really all they are. I had fun connecting the dots on this one.

With that said, thanks for reading and please don't buy into conspiracy theories. America landed on the moon, Apple devices are not the mark of the beast, and Biden won in 2020. 

All the best,

Bruce

Gravity Falls for the Illuminati

It's no secret that the Walt Disney company promotes Illuminati propaganda on a regular basis, but most of its efforts are around subtle messaging rather than overt brainwashing. However, one of its more recent shows transcends this boundary and introduces a character that is nothing short of flaunting pro-Illuminati symbols. This show is Gravity Falls, and the character is Bill Cipher.

As the series' lead antagonist, Bill Cipher is considered a "dream demon" who can enter the minds of individuals, steal knowledge, and always watching people. Additionally, he is plotting for his "big day" and making deals to make that end goal a reality. Based on these traits alone, Bill is already the embodiment of the Illuminati, but what makes this character even more nefarious is his appearance. Bill is a pyramid with a single eye. In fact, Disney fully acknowledges that he's been modeled on the Eye of Providence. To make him cartoonish and attractive to a younger audience, they gave him a top hat and bow tie.

This brainwashing strategy isn't meant for older audiences, most of whom are already familiar with the conspiracy theory. Instead, it's intended to create a silly reference in the minds of children that will implant itself during those crucial developmental years. As those children grow up and begin to learn more about our flat world (and yes, it's very flat), they will be exposed to the truth about the Illuminati and the Eye of Providence. Unfortunately, the first reference that will come to mind is Bill Cipher, and it will be harder for them to acknowledge reality when they instantly connect it with a goofy caricature.

This is not a new trick the Illuminati uses. They've been doing it for decades through children's programs. Does anyone remember World Championship Wrestling's New World Order? Television has always been a medium for Illuminati brainwashing, and that's because it works. Just the other day, one of our correspondents reported that his son had been watching Gravity Falls and had made paper figurines of all the characters. Guess who his favorite was. Yep, it was Bill Cipher. And no, the little fellow didn't understand the dark symbolism behind the character's traits and appearance. Needless to say that our correspondent has deprogramming work ahead.

To everyone else, we say avoid programs like Gravity Falls and keep close tabs on what your children watch. Because one day, you're going to have to tell them the truth about the Illuminati and the world's future. Do you really want Disney making the first impression?   

Will the Illuminati Put Donald Trump on Permanent Display like Lenin?

The Illuminati has made all kinds of promises to Donald Trump as part of the effort to ensure that he does its bidding. These range from saving him time and again from bankruptcy to arranging for his show, "The Apprentice," to have tremendous ratings. Sure, he may have gone rogue or off-script a few times, but he always remains in the secret order's pocket. Of the many promises made, most seem fairly predictable in the form of women, wealth, and fame, but there's one that comes across as peculiar. And that's likely in the promise to allow Trump to emulate the absolute rulers of Communist nations by being embalmed and placed on permanent display some day.

It's no secret that Trump admires strongmen rulers like Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un. His admiration is so publicly visible that people speculate that he wants to be like them, mostly due to the fact that they are worshiped by the masses. He probably relishes the idea of people lining up to see him as they do Vladimir Lenin. That's why the Illuminati will likely grant him this honor. 

We can only speculate how this will play out, but our guess is that Trump will select Mar-A-Lago as his mausoleum. Trump Tower was the other option, but he wouldn't want to be in a city that doesn't like him. In the room that will be selected as his burial chamber, the walls will be plated with gold and there will be a ruby encrusted "MAGA" hat with the lettering spelled out in diamonds at the front of the transparent, vacuum packed sarcophagus where Trump will eternally rest in his finest suit and red tie, covered up to his chest in an American flag. Tucked in one of his arms will be his personal copy of "The Art of the Deal." Fast food will also be available to feed those that pass through, but only KFC and McDonald's Filet-o-Fish, the Donald's favorites.

It will be an awe inspiring site. In fact, Trump would likely brag about the long lines he will get at his memorial in comparison to other presidents. "Look at those bigly lines. They're YUGE! Trust me when I tell you Obama would never get lines like that." The thing here is that the Illuminati knows that Trump wants to be loved and idolized. What better way can he achieve that after life than by having himself embalmed and permanently displayed with masses of admirers paying their respects everyday. We even think if this does occur that future GOP presidents, candidates, and politicians will have to visit and pay homage to get their party's endorsement. These acts of respect will be really beautiful and touching moments, to them at least.

As for promises the Illuminati makes, it can keep one to embalm and permanently display a leader. When thinking of others who have been presented to the public eternally such as Mao Zedong, Ho Chi Minh, Kim Il Sung, and Kim Jong Il, could Donald Trump join that list? 

Trump Will Use the Coronavirus to Stay in Office! Here’s How the Illuminati Will Make It Happen

It's no secret that the Illuminati works behind the scenes in every presidential election. They engineered the 2000 Florida recount situation, ensured that Barack Obama won by destroying the economy, and manipulated the electoral college to give Donald Trump the win in 2016. Needless to say, fixing the election after every four-year cycle is a daunting task. That's why in 2020, the Illuminati will be getting original with how it operates. Rather than orchestrate a complicated election operation, they're going to use the Coronavirus emergency as a method of canceling it.

The reasoning behind this is simple. People are already wary of Trump's potential refusal to leave office in the event he's defeated, but now he'll have the perfect excuse. Trump can insist that the national emergency has been too much for the American people and that he must remain in office until the country recovers, and the Illuminati is going to make this work for him too. It was the secret order that was behind the dismantling of various federal public health departments, and it was the order that ensured China did not disclose full details of the epidemic before it was too late. Indeed, the Illuminati has definitely had its hand in all this. Just look at the name of the virus, Corona, which is part of the sun and an obvious Illuminati reference.

Now, you may be thinking that the 2020 election isn't until November. That's plenty of time for the pandemic to run its course and life to return to normal. And here's our response. The virus may have stopped spreading by November, but life will not have returned to normal. The economy wouldn't have recovered, and the presidential campaigns would have had no time to communicate their messages. All Trump needs to say is that the election needs to be postponed until life returns to normal and then just never reschedule the vote. Sure, this will get challenged in the courts, but they're now rigged in favor of Trump and the Illuminati. Good luck there. Additionally, the potential for civil unrest won't be enough to prevent this either. The nation will still be getting back on its feet after months of being isolated and won't care. 

Yes, indeed, the Coronavirus will be the excuse Trump uses to cancel the election and remain in office for however long he chooses. And without a doubt, the Illuminati and its "sun" or Coronavirus are behind all of it. With America under an authoritarian who is no longer bound by the Constitution, the Illuminati will be one step closer to ushering in the New World Order.